Searching for the Impossibility and Gulo

Author’s Note: Two poems I wrote in the same day, one in English and the other in Filipino. They’re not a translation of each other but both are pertaining to one topic. I wrote this after I failed Level 2 of CFA Exam. During this time, I don’t know if I should still go on or just do other things. This was also during the years when I was so confused and looking for my passion. Here goes… p.s. I posted this in 2013, reposting it to add tags.

Searching for the Impossibility

A depressing thought inside my head
What’s going on? I cannot comprehend
Can’t leave all these things behind
Keep hunting me even when I try to hide

Nowhere to go, what path to take?
Where am I going in this mess?
Nowhere to run, I badly need a break
Cause I’ve been trying to find the exit in this maze

All I want is to make everything fine
Yet this is impossible this time
Am I an idealist? Probably yes
Is it not right to always hope for the best?

I want to escape, I want to scream
I want to search for my inner peace
I don’t want to be confused – left in the dark
I don’t need these headaches – please let me out

Gulo

Ang lungkot ng buhay kapag walang patutunguhan
Di mawari kung ano ang nasa aking isipan
Pinipilit isaayos ang mga bagay-bagay
Ngunit sa twing aking susubukan tila ba wala namang saysay

O kay gulo nitong aking katayuan
Para ba’ng pagninilay-nilay na wala ng katapusan
Kailan kaya mahahanap ang kapayapaan
Sana bukas paggising ko, mayroon na akong kasagutan

– written on September 4, 2007

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