Outburst

photo obtained from jamiesheffield.com

photo obtained from jamiesheffield.com

Author’s Note: Halos isang linggo lang pala ang pag-itan nitong pangalawang tula na naisulat ko about sa confusion ko. Wikang English na naman, talaga naman, kahit di ganoon kaganda, sige ipopost ko pa rin. Syempre ng mga panahon na iyan, wala akong ideya na eto na pala ang simula ng isang kabanata ng aking buhay  na punung-puno ng leksyon. Ng mga panahon na iyan, di ko pa rin alam na ang pagsusulat pala talaga ang passion ko. Alam ko lang mahilig lang akong magsulat pero yun na yun; ng mga panahon na iyan, pakiramdam ko ay naipit na ko sa audit at kahit anong pumiglas ko pa ay hirap na hirap akong kumawala.

 

A puzzle, a maze
So restless, in a daze
Struggling, fighting
So confused, it’s like failing

It’s like reciting the multiplication table
But without focus, it can be the hardest test
It’s a jeopardy, it’s playing chess
And when you lost, it’s a mess

A difficult problem solving
Being clueless, not concentrating
An impossible task
A clear mindset is all I ask

In a new place without any map
It’s like racing in an endless lap
A path that is so blur
A life going nowhere

Crowded people, in a mob
There’s no air, cannot breathe
A quarrel – no! more of a war
A battle for not to self destruct

A storm, a hurricane
Making me insane
A catastrophe, a disaster
Oh, it’s as if facing a monster

A hindrance – it’s a road block
God! It’s just so hard to pass
It’s having a headache – a migraine
In distress, life is so lame

In a nightmare, in hell
Wanting to be out of this shell
A delusion, a hallucination
Burst from these emotions.

– isinulat noong March 22, 2006

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