Kape At Antok

Author’s Note: I’ve been playing video game every night and I’m so sleepy the whole day┬ábecause of that. Good thing I don’t have much to do at work so it’s okay to be in a zombie mode. Yesterday, coffee is no longer working for me and I ended up with this poem, written in my native language, Filipino.

Ilang kape na ang natungga
Antok ay di mawala-wala
Nais kong ipikit ang mata
At managinip na lang muna

Galong kape na ang nalaklak
Nakasara pa rin ang utak
Tara na! Gusto kong sumabak
Hikab!!! Bukas na lang ang balak

Baldeng kape na ang naubos
Isip ko ay di kumikilos
Gising na at gawin ang utos
Kaso antok ayaw maupos

– January 28, 2015

Why Do I Love Him?

Author’s Note: I wrote the first three stanzas of this poem almost two decades ago, 1997. I was 13-14 yrs old experiencing my first brush of romance. Two years later, my friend asked me to continue the poem and so I wrote the next stanzas when I was 16. I no longer write about love so I’m feeling nostalgic reading this. I think it’s still an enjoyable read, I want to edit it before posting but it will no longer be as authentic. I’m putting “()” for the original words that I did minor edits. Just remember, this was written by a teenager. ­čśë

From the first time I saw him
His tantalizing eyes were looking at me
And from that day on
My heart trembles (starts to tremble) every time I see him

I never knew that crazy feeling
Was started from there
I really can’t explain
These feelings I have

From the moment we talked
From the time I glanced at his face
I never really know
Why do I love him?

I made this poem just for him
But I don’t even know the reason for this
Maybe someday I will see
That this love is for real

Then I’ve told myself forget
But (this heart of mine) my heart can’t make the bet
Now I am (my heart) full of regrets
Still searching for the reasons why we two met?

Can’t explain these feelings
Can’t find those keys
Maybe he’s just too good to be true
But he’s the one who makes me feel blue

Maybe I love him
Maybe I like him
But you know – still searching for the answers
Why do I love him?

– written on:
First 3 stanzas: September 9, 1997
Next stanzas: November 19, 1999

A Puzzle

Author’s Note: I plan to expand more about this in a journal format. Hopefully, I’ll find the perfect time to write about this.

Life is truly a wonder
Amazing, boundless beauty
It’s something to discover
Let’s open our hearts and see

It’s to search for a needle
In a field with stack of hays
It’s a thousand piece puzzle
That will soon fall into place

Each piece is key and special
To form and fit together
Every step is material
It’s a journey to ponder

– written on January 13, 2015

Piercing Cold

Cool breeze is the greeting
In my early morning
The wind chill is piercing
Numbness! I’m freezing!

Outside, I am standing
And I don’t mind waiting
As long as it’s snowing
And wind is not blowing

Thick clothes I am wearing
And I am still trembling
Hands and knees are shaking
Headache – I am having

Mercury is dropping
Thermostat is breaking
Now for spring, I’m longing
As this cold is piercing

– written on January 6, 2015