Tonight

Author’s Note: This is another love poem written more than a decade ago when I was 17 (oh my, I feel old). When I was young, I just write without editing so this is long. Anyway, now that I rarely write about love, I hope you’ll enjoy this endangered love poem…

Tonight may be the sweetest night
As I lay awake thinking about the love that we have
All my worries are erased and fears are all burned
‘Coz this night would be the best night of my life

Tonight I dream that you’ll love me too
And to say these words that are only just for you
To be with you and to hold you near
But I guess (that) these are only just a dream

It’s so easy to say that I love you
But I couldn’t admit to myself that I do
‘Coz these pains and hurts are so excruciating
As I lay awake tonight, not knowing if you feel the same way too…

I couldn’t take the risks to say I love you
You might ignore it and your words could be denied
Afraid to be in love with you somehow
‘Coz tonight I realize that I may only mean a best friend for you

Then loving you wouldn’t be that easy
And loving you could bring all these hardships and pains
Still, this heart is searching for a love that’s so fine
Yet tonight I understand that I couldn’t sacrifice friendship
just for the sake of telling what’s true

So tonight, I decide to cover up the sorrows
And tonight I tell my heart to stop
But whatever I say and do
I can’t control my feelings, you see it’s always heart over mind…

This heart is full of pains and heartaches
Tears are still deeply falling from my eyes
As I lay awake thinking about the love that we have
This night turned out to be the loneliest night of my life…

I thought I could still hide all these heartaches and pains
I thought I could still bear all the hurts
But tell me, what must I do?
If tonight until forever on, I’m still in love with you?

And so tonight I vow never to fall in love with you
Tonight I say all my feelings are not true
But when I think about some things
I realize that I keep on falling over and over again for you…

– October 20, 2000

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