Holiday Blues

magic4walls

photo credit to Magic4Walls.com

It’s 4PM and it’s already dark
The wind chill is piercing and I wish –
I’m at home in front of the fireplace
Enjoying its warmth and its heat
Then watch the snowfall by the window
With you by my side, admiring its beauty
Instead, here I am outside, wandering
Going nowhere, cold, lost and searching
Looking for nothing, for love, for you
Somehow, I always end up in this park
Right on this bench where we used to hang…
—–
It’s this time of year when pain is too much
It’s reminiscent of the past, that night –
We were at this bench, giggling nonsensically
We enjoyed the cold and nothing mattered
Then you popped the question but then…
Glimpses of lies start rushing through my mind
I wish I knew what went wrong to undo it
How can I move on and see things differently
I only wish these days, the holidays, to quickly pass
So I can stop counting each snowflake
Right on this bench where we used to hang…

– December 20, 2016

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