Don’t You Wish

pinterest

photo credit to pinterest.com

Don’t you wish to lie underneath the stars
To look for a falling star and wish for a different reality
Then dream about your dreams coming true

Don’t you wish to run in a field of greens
With someone you love and be in the wind
Then feel the breeze and embrace the sun

Don’t you wish to sprint like there’s no tomorrow
To finish this endless race and to start a new one
Then now walk through this journey enjoying each step

Don’t you wish to climb the highest mountain
With someone dear and be one with the clouds
Then see the world from the top, a change of view

Don’t you wish to soar like a kite or a balloon
To just float in the air, in limbo yet carefree
Then fly, fly… fly high until you reach the sky

Don’t you just wish to lie underneath the stars?

If I could only just wish…

– January 17, 2017

Descent

iconfinder

photo credit to iconfinder.com

And I am gradually falling
From nil to nowhere, I’m just falling…
Let me feel the power of gravity
And slowly pull me to infinity

And I am now losing my grip…
Let go as I sink into the deep
Submit to the vast vacuum of space
And welcome the black hole’s warm embrace

And I am actually liking this…
A descent from sobriety’s abyss
Fall deeper into the galaxy
And accept the will of eternity

– December 1, 2016

The Story Of 2016 (Full Text)

flog-tk

photo credit to flog.tk

Author’s Note: I posted the poem earlier and here’s the full text of my 2016 wrap-up.

If 2015 was The Year of Boredom, 2016 was The Year of Lost Passion.

Story of Boredom (2015 continued…)

It was quietly disguise as a paradise
It took me a while to finally realize
It was a journey to the bottom of the pit
I was hell-bound, I know I had to resist

I had been struggling with boredom since 2015. It continued in 2016 and I reached the peak (or the bottom?) of boredom. Good thing, Pokemon Go happened. So in summer 2016, catching Pokemons was the only thing I was looking forward to in each workday. I know it was shallow but it made me realize how unhappy I was in my day job.

I tried to be patient and endured the agony. I hoped for something good to happen despite being clueless on what would that be. The boredom paved the way for me to write more and let my imagination wander. The boredom was a blessing in disguise, actually. Though I still haven’t finished my short story, I found a different side of a writer in me and re-affirm that writing is my true aspiration. It was so tempting to just stay put, to write while continue earning from my day job but then…

Story of Lost Passion

‎I was unsure, it was difficult to break away
Until I lost my passion along the way
And the absence of fire I can no longer bear
It was my wake up call, time to start all over

But then… I’m such a geek and I enjoy the finance profession. I want to be in a place where I can add value. I want to wake up each workday and look forward to contributing to the company. It was no longer challenging and it led to boredom and that boredom took away my drive towards my work. When I lost my drive, I realized I want to be passionate in both worlds, at least for now – to write on the side and to have a fulfilling day job. And so…

Story of Exploration

So I closed that chapter and welcomed a new norm
Hoping to bring back that something to its full form
Though it is an infinite travel to passion
I am now excited at this exploration

And so… I finally pulled myself from my comfortable boredom. Work is a menial part of my life but I still devote a lot of time to it each day. I don’t want to waste my hours feeling miserable. Luckily, I found a new job. Now, I’m determined to bring back the passion, fire, and drive that I lost in my 2015-2016 journey.

I know I will no longer be as enthusiastic about my day job compared to 3-4 years ago. It is a conscious choice as I’m in very different state now – work is no longer my top priority. As long as I’m not wasting hours, then I am good. In my new job, I am no longer bored, I am no longer miserable, and I am slowly getting my drive back. Then hopefully, I would get more emotional and financial security from my day job so I can craft a plan to reach my dream as a writer. Then eventually transition – to do finance work on the side and to write full time (oh gosh, this is so far-fetched *face palm*).

By the way, during the time when I was so pumped up because of the new job, an accident happened which caused stress to my household. Thank God there was no casualty and the result was favourable to us. But it was a speed bump reminding me about more important things in life.‎

Anyway, if 2015 was The Year of Boredom and 2016 was The Year of Lost Passion, I wonder what 2017 would be? This year, besides getting my drive back, I also want to continue my “less-junk-food” lifestyle and be healthy. Most of all, I want to continue my travel to passion. I am so excited to explore the things I will write. I am so excited to be more inspired while of course, still singing and dancing (Bollywood style) to the sound track from my favorite movie of all time, 3 Idiots…

All izz well
Woot woot woot
Hey bro, all izz well…

– January 12, 2017

The Story Of 2016 (Poem)

flog-tk

photo credit to flog.tk

Author’s Note: I started writing a yearly wrap-up in 2013. Here’s a poem summarizing my 2016, with hyperlinks to some poems I wrote last year. I also have a full text which I will post separately and probably later or tomorrow.

It was quietly disguise as a paradise
It took me a while to finally realize
It was a journey to the bottom of the pit
I was hell-bound, I know I had to resist

I was unsure, it was difficult to break away
Until I lost my passion along the way
And the absence of fire I can no longer bear
It was my wake up call, time to start all over

So I closed that chapter and welcomed a new norm
Hoping to bring back that something to its full form
Though it is an infinite travel to passion
I am now excited at this exploration

– January 9, 2017

Crippled/Lame Writer (Lampang Manunulat)

IMG00351-20130102-1811

Author’s Note: My blog name/pseudonym – lampangmanunulat – is composed of 2 Filipino words: (1) “lampa”*** means crippled/lame, and (2) “manunulat” means writer.

Hiding behind the wires of the world wide web
Putting up a mask to disguise who I am
I am not Batman who could clean up Gotham
I am a crippled writer who is just lame

Struggling to stand up for what I have written
Anxious to take risks and to believe in myself
I am not a Super Saiyan who could save the Earth
I am a crippled writer resisting my world

Averse to get out from this anonymity
Hesitant to take steps to follow the dream
I am not Rick Grimes who has vision to fulfill
I am just a crippled writer hoping to break free

– January 4, 2017

*** The word “lampa” is an adjective but the “ng” is added after the word “lampa” to make it an active phrase (i.e. if passive, it would the “manunulat” is “lampa”).

I Want To Write

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

Author’s Note: First writing and first post for 2017. Yey! Happy New Year! 🙂

I want to write about the sun and moon
And how I plan to reach them soon
Then see all things in the universe
To inspire all my lines and verse

Then to write about love and hate
And feel the joy and pain of this fate
Then learn from the mistakes of my past
To set me free and welcome a new blast

I want to know and write more about You
How You show the path leading to what’s true
Then tell everyone about Your words
Serving light and comfort in my dim world

I want to write about anything
Hoping someday it’d be the only thing
To bring me closer to the clear blue sky
So I can write until the day I die

– January 2, 2017