Struggle

Writer’s Note: This was written more than 15 years ago. I cannot recall now what triggered this but this was way back when I was still un the university.

Faced by a lot of failures
Losing confidence, losing grip
Feeling worthless, feeling dumb
Can’t prove something, can’t say anything
Just like any other persom
Can never be an extraordinary one
Nothing’s good inside
Been crying, been bursting
Helpless, hopeless, and meaningless
Depression is here in vain
Empty head, nothing’s left
Can’t beat them, can’t have an edge
Just like any other person
Can never be an extraordinary one
Sitting in the dark
Been pretending, in denial
Can’t face reality, can’t see the fact
Dreaming, aiming
Reality bytes – it’s all a lie
Still fighting, still trying
Still wanting, holding on
Making a difference, but all is null

– August 8, 2003

Are You All Right There?

You’re so needy, clingy, tell me what you want to do
You cannot speak yet and I can’t understand your cues
I hope there’s a way to learn what you’re trying to say
But all I need to know is you are doing okay

So please give me your real smile, a smile that’s not just gas
Let me hear your coos to know your worries have passed
Then show me your dimples and your little smiling eyes
Just give me something, anything, aside from your cries

You’re so needy. clingy, I just don’t know what to do
Please stop wailing; I’m here now, I won’t ever leave you
And I’ll take care of you, love you until forever
Little one, please be all right, hope you’re all right there

– September 25, 2018

October Fall

fall

Writer’s Note: Another poem written long time ago (about 8 yrs ago). This was our first fall in Canada and we were still adjusting as new immigrants. Looks like I already posted it here when I initially created this blog but without any tags. Bumping it and also changing the pic.

It’s a gloomy weather
In a fall of October
The cool breeze I feel
And I’m standing still

I miss the sun’s smile
Seems it has been a while
Fog is enveloping the horizon
In my each waking morn

Leaves are falling
Colors are changing
A new beginning I see
But when it’s going to be

– October 26, 2010

My Subconscious Is Killing Me

photo credit to pmstudycircle.com

Writer’s Note: I haven’t written much lately so this was an old one, written in 2009 when I was waiting for the results of an exam.

I woke up at the wrong side of the bed
I just had a bad dream, I guess
Ignoring the moment that I have dreaded
Yet it came out naturally in my unconsciousness

Oblivion – that’s what I want
Preoccupied by lots of things except “that”
But when I shut my eyes and dreamed
My subconscious killed me while I was asleep

Feeling restless again
Stressed on what would “that” be
On “that” night what would I gain?
Please, I just want to be free!

– August 13, 2009