Drought (Part 2)

drought

photo credit to cdc.gov

I always need a validation
Telling myself this is my passion
But I’m stuck, I feel I’m not growing
Did I reach my peak now I’m descending?

And now I’m back again to nowhere
Just scrambling, looking to find whatever
I hope it’s just a phase to something new
‎A great inspiration that’s being brewed

So how do I keep on believing?
Keep the faith, stop myself from falling?
Refuel my mind, my heart, my soul?
When all my fears are eating me whole…

– July 2, 2018

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Drought (Part 1)

drought

photo credit to cdc.gov

I am slowly losing steam
Am I just in a dream?
But it’s more of a nightmare
Something I cannot bear

And I’m running out of juice
I’ve got no more excuse
But how do I find the way
So I won’t go astray

It’s my longest drought
How do I remove my doubt?
Let it rain, let it pour
Please let my mind soar

– June 28, 2018

To Write

a combination of two photos obtained from: glogster.com and fountainpennetwork.com

It’s to write about what’s underneath
Then go beyond what lies beneath
Discover the beauty from within
See the light that’s illuminating
To find all the inspiration
Which will uncover all emotions
The passion that’s been long missing
Will soon emerge in the offing
Then dream about the freedom to write
Regardless if it is wrong or right
For it’s to write about anything
Because writing is the only thing

– June 12, 2018

Where To Find Inspiration

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

Where do I find the inspiration to write
To get me through this, to help me survive
What should I do to make everything all right
To remind me I’m still breathing, still alive

Let’s turn back time and collect my shattered wit
Hopefully, I’ll figure out the correct math
This time I’ll let things flow, I won’t throw a fit
Then pave the way towards my enlightened path

Where do I find the inspiration to write
I looked everywhere, even traveled the past
But all is blur and I still have no insight
So here’s to just believing, this too, shall pass

– April 19, 2018

Insomnia

My legs hurt
My arms feel strange
My body seems twisted
I keep flipping on my bed
I close my eyes
Yet I find them open again
I am restless
Should I run?
Do some chores?
But I won’t, I can’t
It’s physically impossible
So I surf the net, read whatever
I try to write, write whatever
Then my stomach growls
But I don’t have the appetite
So I just check the clock
It’s been more than an hour
Soon I’ll have to work
So try to breathe… Relax!
Forget the pain
Don’t mind the discomfort
Leave any thoughts
Think of happy thoughts
Then count sheeps
But nothing’s working
And I’m running out of ideas
My head is not at its best
I have no more juice
I am so drained
I am exhausted
Yet I am wide awake
Somehow, I couldn’t manage
I just couldn’t fall asleep…

– May 30, 2018

My Hell

welcome to hell

photo credit to 123rf.com

It’s not the smell of the doughnut nor the freshly brewed coffee
It’s not the smile from my co-workers pretending to be happy
But it’s the “Welcome to Hell”, the invisible sign I see
It’s sad, pathetic but it’s the only thing that’s greeting me

Everytime I go to work I have a churn in my belly
I don’t know why, it must be a signal that this is not for me
And I am trapped, frustrated and there’s no way to break free
Then I forget who I am, neglecting my true destiny

Sometimes I consider quitting but it’s just too risky
I have no guts, no balls, that’s why I can’t find any glory
So I just buried myself in this hell of a monotony
And continue living this hell where I can never be me

– May 10, 2018

Is This? (Vague Questions II)

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

Writer’s Note: Vague Questions I is here.

Is this my destination that will end my searching?
Or another confusion that will keep me longing?

Is this the answer to the questions I’ve been asking?
Or just a new problem that will soon be emerging?

Is this the place to rediscover passion, my drive?
Or just something I will be forced to take to survive?

Oh when will I stop asking these silly, vague questions?
Am I overanalyzing to find solutions?

Why can’t I have faith to this path that I have chosen?
How do I let all doubts and worries be forgotten?

Will I ever reach my dream from all this complaining?
When will I get tired from all this venting and whining?

– February 1, 2018