Grief

foggy woods

photo credit to zedge.net

A mist is enveloping this morning
The road seems narrow and never ending
I feel the breeze, the chill is hitting my face
How I long for the warmth of your embrace

The sun is still in hiding, it’s so dark
Not even a bit of light can make its mark
But this path I have no choice but to take
Burdened with grief that I can no longer fake

The starless, pitch black night is approaching
And I don’t even know where I’m going
But I will keep walking to find answers
Brave this journey while saying my prayers

– October 11, 2019

Haunted

It’s haunting every piece of me
I ran looking for a sanctuary
I hid but it always finds me
No escape from this catastrophe

It wants to control my mind, my soul
I refused, neglecting the call
A phantom commanding my whole
I am cornered to take the fall

Then it devours me, draining my core
Resist or surrender – I am torn
But it persists, asking for more
Yet I feel at peace, I am reborn

– September 4, 2019

Drowning

It’s seems like eternity
But at last,
I see something
It’s blurry…
Is it the shore?
Swim faster
Faster!
Go to that island!
But wait…
Where am I?

The water isn’t blue
It’s gray
There are no fish
No corals
Nothing underneath
A sink hole to nowhere
So hurry
Swim harder!
Flap those arms!
Move those feet!

The shore
It’s nearer
I see it now
I can reach it now
But what? How?
This is not a sanctuary
It’s just a huge log
But I can hold on to it
Cling on to it
At least for now

Then I look up
At the sky
It’s getting darker
This water beyond me
It’s turning black
And I’m exhausted
But I need to stay afloat
“Don’t close your eyes
Don’t give up now”
Just keep swimming!

But I’m tired and I…
I want to rest and I…
I’m shutting my eyes and I…
I’m losing my breath and I…
I don’t know where I am
How did I end up here?
Swim!
Swim more!
But slowly‎…
Oh so slowly…

I am drowning…

Only you can save me…

– August 8, 2019

Defeated

I fell and I stumbled
I was down, I was troubled
I can’t pick myself up
There was no way to get up
No strength to even try
And all I could do was cry
From despair, from anger
For not having the power
To control my dumb mind
Then command the brain to find
The love and the passion
To seek a motivation
But I only faltered
To defeat, I surrendered

– July 10, 2019

One With God

When the blue sky is turning into gray
I get lost, always searching for answers
When things get tough and not going my way
It’s the time to pause and say my prayers

When I lose grip on things I can’t control
I question how and why it’s so unjust
I feel I’m farther away from my goal
But I try to let go and put my trust

I rely on the miracle from above
Where I can’t be ignored, I am not odd
And it is all about faith, hope, and love
Then I try, I aim to be one with God

– May 19, 2019

One With Darkness

The moon is full, it is shining
A feast, a celebration of life
I am in awe, it’s enlightening
As the night washes away the strife

As I look up, my soul rejoices
I see the stars engulf the black skies
I feel the evening’s warmth caresses
But it’s missing a pure sacrifice

My shadow dances with the moonlight
In anticipation of greatness
And as the light fades into the night
‎I will be one with the darkness

– May 18, 2019

Traveling To A Blurred Destiny

photo credit to pixabay.com

A crossroad? No! I can’t even see a road
It is being in the woods with a blind fold
I’m totally lost, wandering the unknown
Just trusting my senses to lead me to you

And I keep stumbling, falling into the pit
Picking myself up gets harder and harder
But I try to follow the sound of your voice
‎It’s my only guide in this bleak surrounding

As I open my eyes with hope to see clearly
There’s a fog, it’s enveloping the horizon
And all I can do is to pray, to listen
Then continue this journey with only faith…

I’m still stuck somewhere in the woods, in the pit
It’s unlikely I’ll figure my way out soon
But as long as I hear your voice, calling me
I know I’m in the path towards my destiny

– October 2, 2017