My Subconscious Is Killing Me

photo credit to pmstudycircle.com

Writer’s Note: I haven’t written much lately so this was an old one, written in 2009 when I was waiting for the results of an exam.

I woke up at the wrong side of the bed
I just had a bad dream, I guess
Ignoring the moment that I have dreaded
Yet it came out naturally in my unconsciousness

Oblivion – that’s what I want
Preoccupied by lots of things except “that”
But when I shut my eyes and dreamed
My subconscious killed me while I was asleep

Feeling restless again
Stressed on what would “that” be
On “that” night what would I gain?
Please, I just want to be free!

– August 13, 2009

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Drought (Part 4)

drought

photo credit to cdc.gov

Lost in a world with too many people
Too many things going on
My mind has been preoccupied
Resulting in not knowing what I want
Confused as to what I need
I am seemingly lost in this void
Overwhelmed by this busy crowd
So how can I make amends?
Take charge of my destiny?
Gain a different perspective?
When all I have is my pen
And I am gradually losing my wit
How do I focus to the things that matter?
How do I ignore all the noise?
Then it just dawned on me…
All I need is my pen and a little bit of wit!
Just start writing whatever, whenever
Then just have a little faith and believe
I will soon overcome this drought
Its end is near

– July 10, 2018

Drought (Part 3)

drought

photo credit to cdc.gov

Have you ever experienced the mind suddenly stop?
When there are no more thoughts, no more ideas
And the words are left hanging, floating in midair

Have you ever wondered where they all went?
Then you tried to search deeper looking for inspiration
But then nothing! The words you needed were gone

Have you ever told yourself to take a break, that it will pass?
You put your pen down, logged off from your PC, paused for a while
Then when you came back, you were still muddling

Have you ever wondered if it will all go back?
Like 1+1=2 or riding a bike, it is going to be as easy as that
But then you ask yourself when would that be…

Then you started to wonder “is this the start of the end?”
A peak has been reached, now it’s time to descend
Have you ever been afraid that rain will never come again?

Because I’m clearly in drought…
I am drained…
I am afraid…

– July 3, 2018

Drought (Part 2)

drought

photo credit to cdc.gov

I always need a validation
Telling myself this is my passion
But I’m stuck, I feel I’m not growing
Did I reach my peak now I’m descending?

And now I’m back again to nowhere
Just scrambling, looking to find whatever
I hope it’s just a phase to something new
‎A great inspiration that’s being brewed

So how do I keep on believing?
Keep the faith, stop myself from falling?
Refuel my mind, my heart, my soul?
When all my fears are eating me whole…

– July 2, 2018

Drought (Part 1)

drought

photo credit to cdc.gov

I am slowly losing steam
Am I just in a dream?
But it’s more of a nightmare
Something I cannot bear

And I’m running out of juice
I’ve got no more excuse
But how do I find the way
So I won’t go astray

It’s my longest drought
How do I remove my doubt?
Let it rain, let it pour
Please let my mind soar

– June 28, 2018

To Write

a combination of two photos obtained from: glogster.com and fountainpennetwork.com

It’s to write about what’s underneath
Then go beyond what lies beneath
Discover the beauty from within
See the light that’s illuminating
To find all the inspiration
Which will uncover all emotions
The passion that’s been long missing
Will soon emerge in the offing
Then dream about the freedom to write
Regardless if it is wrong or right
For it’s to write about anything
Because writing is the only thing

– June 12, 2018

Where To Find Inspiration

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

Where do I find the inspiration to write
To get me through this, to help me survive
What should I do to make everything all right
To remind me I’m still breathing, still alive

Let’s turn back time and collect my shattered wit
Hopefully, I’ll figure out the correct math
This time I’ll let things flow, I won’t throw a fit
Then pave the way towards my enlightened path

Where do I find the inspiration to write
I looked everywhere, even traveled the past
But all is blur and I still have no insight
So here’s to just believing, this too, shall pass

– April 19, 2018