Is This? (Vague Questions II)

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

Writer’s Note: Vague Questions I is here.

Is this my destination that will end my searching?
Or another confusion that will keep me longing?

Is this the answer to the questions I’ve been asking?
Or just a new problem that will soon be emerging?

Is this the place to rediscover passion, my drive?
Or just something I will be forced to take to survive?

Oh when will I stop asking these silly, vague questions?
Am I overanalyzing to find solutions?

Why can’t I have faith to this path that I have chosen?
How do I let all doubts and worries be forgotten?

Will I ever reach my dream from all this complaining?
When will I get tired from all this venting and whining?

– February 1, 2018

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Melancholy

kathleenmoulton-com

photo credit to kathleenmoulton.com

It’s sucking every inch of my strength
It’s draining every bit of my soul
I am very weak, I am weakened
I’m about to surrender my control

It is slowly eating me alive
Burying me deeper to a hole
Where I can never ever emerge
Where I will never again be whole

And I don’t have a way to resist
Let it suck me, drain me, take my all
Let it bring me to where I belong…
This melancholy has become my all

– March 21, 2018

Another Writing Struggle

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

I always end up staring blankly at the ceiling
Waiting and looking for a pinch of inspiration
But no matter how hard I try it’s always nothing
I should search deeper to find that certain emotion

Words, thoughts, and ideas – they are scrambling in my head
Flipping in my bed trying to find inner calmness
Yet I still can’t figure out the things I could have said
All I have is my rambling mind with clutter and mess

And so… I just stare again blankly at the ceiling
Now just allowing the words to take me to a trip
Emptying the mind, start from the very beginning
But oh my! This is only making me fall asleep

– March 15, 2018

Waiting

photo credit to jmco.com

My friend, you have
Been counting the clock’s minutes
Frustrated, getting restless
Patience is stretched to its limits
Uneasy, feeling reckless

Well, will you please stop worrying
Just welcome the world of waiting

It’s going to take a while
Take a deep breath, take a seat
It’s going to be a mile
Just relax, don’t sweat it

My friend, you have
Been staring at your email
Hoping you’ll see an answer
You’re setting yourself to fail
Just say a little prayer

Come on, just please stop worrying
Say hi to the world of waiting

It’s going to take a while
Take a deep breath, take a seat
It’s going to be a mile
Just relax, don’t sweat it

Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a while
So just relax, just chill, just smile
Yeah, just relax, just chill, just smile

– September 19, 2017

The Woods

photo credit to dreamstime.com

No water was left to bring life to this place
I found myself drifting, lost again in space
So I floated, left my past without a trace…

I walked in the woods, following a path
To a river full of fury and wrath
But I was shocked to see, I couldn’t believe
The river had drained, no fish could ever live

But I continued the journey, wandering
Searching for a paradise while humming
A sad melody with no tune, no hue
Then I was lost in the woods without a clue

So I walked back to the path of the river
Tracking my steps before headed to nowhere
But it seemed I was just going deeper
Into the woods where I was lost forever

– January 9, 2018

Lost

kathleenmoulton-com

photo credit to kathleenmoulton.com

It’s a world that I thought is better
Hoping it’s where I’ll discover
Myself, my dream, and my mission
Yet somehow I lose my passion

Then to darkness I surrender
Now I have a lot to ponder

Since I… I’m lost in this journey
I’m confused, I’m losing my will
And I… I am going crazy
Please show me the way to what’s real

It is the path of destruction
And all I have are vague questions
This madness, how long can I bear?
Only you can save me from despair

Then to nothingness I concede
I know I can never be freed

Since I… I’m lost in this journey
I’m confused, I’m losing my will
And I… I am going crazy
Please show me the way to what’s real

Oh I… I’m lost in this journey
Please lead me to something that’s real…

– September 11, 2017

My Agony

I live in struggle with my agony
My mind is screaming, asking for relief
Let me free, save me from my misery
Take me to a place where there is no grief

When I found hope to end my frustration
It was taken and I was left alone
With my own thoughts leading to destruction
Now I’m more trapped in this sickening zone

Now I’m defeated by my agony
I gave up, I surrendered to my mess
My mind fought but it’s my reality
To rock bottom – it’s where I will regress

– October 16, 2017