Author’s Note: I have two versions of this writing – the other one was already posted here.
Minutes are passing
It’s your turn, what now?
Show me so I would know
Which pawn should I use
Will I take the bait?
Or will it be a check?
Now it’s a check
Protect the king
Hide behind the rook
It’s the queen’s move
But a knight’s mistake
But there’s nowhere to go
Is it checkmate? The end?
I failed and lost
I struggled in this battle
This battle of waiting
I was hoping to bring back my lost fire, my lost drive
But I couldn’t find them in spite of my effort and strive
I thought a new place would be the start of discovery
Unfortunately, some things are not just meant to be
I initially thought it would be my way to freedom
Or maybe it’d be another disguise of a kingdom
A kingdom of a new hell where I would be again sucked
So I guess it was for the best so I will not be stuck
Clearly, a new place is not the answer to my questions
Wherever I go I could not find any solution
Maybe I just need to surrender – let go – let it be
Accept my fate into nothingness, that’s where I will be
I guess I just assumed that I was okay, all right
Then I saw a glimpse of something different, new light
It opened a new world that I never imagined
A place where I want to be but it is not destined
The more I think about it, the more I badly want it
It was my mistake to believe that it was a fit
My fault to hope for something beyond my capacity
It changed my views – things are no longer the way I see
Now I’m back to my prison without even a gleam
Could I go back to yesterdays with unshattered dream?
Because now I’m sulking over something I never had
I wish I have never seen the glimpse of what could have