I Can No Longer Write

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

I can no longer write about your smile
And share your happiness with everyone
I feel this will go on and on for a while
Maybe this is the end and soon I’m done

I can no longer write about my thoughts
And express the ideas in my head
Whatever this is, I battled and I fought
But this fiend owned me, had me defeated

I can no longer write about anything
And play with words to build a masterpiece
It’s slowly consuming my everything
But a least leave hope so I can be at peace

– November 12, 2019

My Hell

welcome to hell

photo credit to 123rf.com

It’s not the smell of the doughnut nor the freshly brewed coffee
It’s not the smile from my co-workers pretending to be happy
But it’s the “Welcome to Hell”, the invisible sign I see
It’s sad, pathetic but it’s the only thing that’s greeting me

Everytime I go to work I have a churn in my belly
I don’t know why, it must be a signal that this is not for me
And I am trapped, frustrated and there’s no way to break free
Then I forget who I am, neglecting my true destiny

Sometimes I consider quitting but it’s just too risky
I have no guts, no balls, that’s why I can’t find any glory
So I just buried myself in this hell of a monotony
And continue living this hell where I can never be me

– May 10, 2018

Waiting

photo credit to jmco.com

My friend, you have
Been counting the clock’s minutes
Frustrated, getting restless
Patience is stretched to its limits
Uneasy, feeling reckless

Well, will you please stop worrying
Just welcome the world of waiting

It’s going to take a while
Take a deep breath, take a seat
It’s going to be a mile
Just relax, don’t sweat it

My friend, you have
Been staring at your email
Hoping you’ll see an answer
You’re setting yourself to fail
Just say a little prayer

Come on, just please stop worrying
Say hi to the world of waiting

It’s going to take a while
Take a deep breath, take a seat
It’s going to be a mile
Just relax, don’t sweat it

Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a while
So just relax, just chill, just smile
Yeah, just relax, just chill, just smile

– September 19, 2017

Today…

heartbroken

photo credit to emojipedia.com

Today, I realized I’d never be the same
Without you, there’d be no passion, life would be lame
But why did you even tell me to wait, to stay?
Now how am I supposed to face the coming days?

Today, I tried to accept my reality
That you and I are probably not meant to be
But at least tell me the reason, give me closure
Until when do you plan to keep this torture?

So today, I just spent all my hours sulking
I kept checking my messages but still nothing
Then wondered where would I be if you’d ever leave
Oh why did you give me hope and make me believe?

– October 23, 2017

Farewell Again

Here I am, going to bid my farewell again
To a chaotic yet a fun roller coaster
It’s been heck of a ride but true lessons I gained
To bring me as I embark to wherever

Here I am, closing another chapter again
With only hope for a future that is brighter
Leaving a past with frustrations I can’t contain
Marking a new journey for this lost traveler

– November 21, 2017

My Agony

I live in struggle with my agony
My mind is screaming, asking for relief
Let me free, save me from my misery
Take me to a place where there is no grief

When I found hope to end my frustration
It was taken and I was left alone
With my own thoughts leading to destruction
Now I’m more trapped in this sickening zone

Now I’m defeated by my agony
I gave up, I surrendered to my mess
My mind fought but it’s my reality
To rock bottom – it’s where I will regress

– October 16, 2017

Please, Lord!

I did the best I could
Please don’t let me be fooled
I can only hope, pray
To let it be my way

‎Is it a new chapter?
‎A future that’s brighter?
The path to destiny
To end my agony?

But it’s reaching for star
It’s so close yet so far
My patience is tested
Now I am frustrated

So I lay it to You
Please help me to pull through
‎Please tell me how to deal
Please let it be Your will

– October 2, 2017