What If

sleeping baby

What if you were just a pigment of my dream?
What if the life I’ve known with you was unreal?
Slowly, my world, my life will start to dim
My heart will be broken, it will never heal

For now I’ve learned to enjoy this life with you
I have a new purpose and that’s to see you grow
So what if I was just imagining you?
Then please hold me close and don’t ever let go

Or take me back to my dream where you were there
Then I will hug you, lock you in my embrace
Then don’t wake me up, I’ll stay until forever
So I can be with you in this happy place

– January 29, 2018

I Love…

I love smelling your hair, it smells like baby powder
I love kissing your forehead, pinching your nose
I love wiping your tears whenever you cry
I love seeing your toothless grin, your cute little smile
It always melts my heart, I forget that I’m tired

I love holding your hands, rubbing your belly
Whenever you push and try to do number two
It seems that I’m helping you but it’s all on you
I love changing your diapers, wiping your butt
I even made a song, please remeber that

I love writing you poems and songs to sing for you
I love teaching you 123s and ABCs
I love playing with you, reading you books
I love the way you listen to all stories I tell
You seem to understand all things that I say

I love the way you sneeze, you cough, and you yawn
And how you fart like you are a big human being
I love tickling you and massaging your legs
I love your scared look whenever we bathe you
Then how happy you are whenever we dress you

I love how you hate burping when you’re still hungry
I love how drunk you are after each feeding
I love how you can sleep soundly on my chest
I love watching you sleep and dream at night
And when you have nightmares, I love soothing your cries

I love how you stretch your short little arms
Then you make these grunts like you have a hard life
I even love your tantrums like you’ve been neglected
Then how you talk to us as if you know all the words
And how you tell your dadsi about your day

I love seeing you grow, becoming a lady
I love waiting for the day you’ll take your first step
I love that God gave you to us and touch our lives
I love you, I love everything about you
But if there’s one thing I don’t love…
It’s I don’t love missing you

– October 19, 2018

I Wish I Could

I wish I could always make you smile
But all I could do is to wipe your tears
Each time you cry or are hurting
And know I’m here to understand

I wish I could take away your pain
But all I could do is to stay with you,
To hug you and hold you tight
And know you won’t suffer alone

I wish I could carry your burden
But all I could do is to be your rock,
To be there when you make your move
And know I’m here to watch over you

There are many things I wish I could
But I could never take your place
But just know until my very end,
I am always here to hold your hand

– January 4, 2019

The Story Of 2018

Writer’s Note: I’ve been writing about my year since 2013 but I’m not sure when I would be able to write a full narrative about my 2018. For now, here’s a short poem summarizing it.

Welcomed the birth of our baby
Looked forward to this journey
Felt a resurgence of passion
Found a new inspiration
This is my 2018 (twenty eighteen)
Bring it on, 2019 (twenty nineteen)

To explore the world with you
To write more about Him and you
To walk the path to destiny
To continue to be free
Here’s to more love, 2019
And thank you, 2018

– January 2, 2019

For Your First Christmas

It’s your first Christmas and I want you to see
Not just the carols you hear and gifts you receive
But the meaning of Jesus’s birth and its beauty
Then share the love and joy to the world we live

It’s your first Christmas and I want you to enjoy
Not just the food and all the festivities
But also the words from God ‎and shout them with joy
‎Then learn the real reasons for these activities

It’s your first Christmas though you won’t remember
I’ll remind you it’s beyond the party and play
Let love live with you not just now but forever
May you experience Jesus in your everyday

– December 17, 2018

I Never Expected / Hindi Ko Inakala

Writer’s Note: This was originally written in my native tongue, Filipino. The english version is the translation.

You take me to a paradise each time you smile
Oh how you amaze me in every move you make
O dear, what kind of mystery is surrounding you?
I never expected I would enjoy having you

I want you to be here, to be always with me
I would do anything just to see you with glee
I promise to take care of you until the end
I never expected you’d be hope and happiness

My life has changed ever since we have first me
I now have a new purpose, a new perspective
You have set me free from this imprisonment
I never expected I could ever love this way

– October 15, 2018

Filipino (Original) Version:

Bawat ngiti mo’y nadadala ako sa paraiso
Bawat galaw ako’y talagang nabibighani mo
O giliw, ano bang misteryong nababalot sayo
Hindi ko inakalang matutuwa ako sayo

Nais ko ay laging nandito ka at kapiling ka
Gagawin ko ang lahat basta’t ikaw ay mapasaya
Pangako kong hanggang wakas ay aalagaan ka
Hindi ko inakalang ikaw ang pag-asa’t ligaya

Buhay ay nag-iba sa una pa lang nating tagpo
Ang aking pakay at pananaw ay iyo ring binago
‎Pinalaya mo ako sa aking pagkakabilanggo
Hindi ko inakalang kayang magmahal ng ganito

– October 12, 2018

Please Hold Me

baby in arms

photo credit to christianwomenonline.net

Writer’s Note: This was inspired by a post I saw in What To Expect forum. It’s “Dear Mama…” post which has been shared and reshared in Facebook, too. Coincidentally, when I read that, my newborn was going through a phase and all she wanted was to be held so it inspired me to write this…

It’s a different world, I am new to this
Sometimes I feel I am lost in an abyss
I am hopeless, I am helpless, please save me
All I can do is cry so you could hold me

Now I’m cold, I am scared, I need some comfort
I need an assurance of love of some sort
Please just stay beside me, please don’t ever go
Please hold me close and please never let me go

‎I don’t want to bother you but I need you
I need your warmth, your touch so I can pull through
Soon, I will grow up, adjust and be all right
But for now, I just want you to hold me tight

– October 3, 2018