Living In Shadow

lurk in shadows

photo credit to

I have been living in the shadow of my pen
I want to be out but I just do not know when
I guess I am afraid, I don’t want to let go
I’m holding on to something I don’t even know

My fear is holding me back, I am insecure
I want to explore the what-ifs but I’m unsure
Maybe I will just live in the world of regret
Wait for the time that I’ll be able to forget

Maybe here, I’ll find freedom and serenity
Maybe this place has always been my destiny
Stop wondering what kind of life would be then
Just accept living in the shadow of my pen

– January 7, 2019

Crippled/Lame Writer (Lampang Manunulat)


Author’s Note: My blog name/pseudonym – lampangmanunulat – is composed of 2 Filipino words: (1) “lampa”*** means crippled/lame, and (2) “manunulat” means writer.

Hiding behind the wires of the world wide web
Putting up a mask to disguise who I am
I am not Batman who could clean up Gotham
I am a crippled writer who is just lame

Struggling to stand up for what I have written
Anxious to take risks and to believe in myself
I am not a Super Saiyan who could save the Earth
I am a crippled writer resisting my world

Averse to get out from this anonymity
Hesitant to take steps to follow the dream
I am not Rick Grimes who has vision to fulfill
I am just a crippled writer hoping to break free

– January 4, 2017

*** The word “lampa” is an adjective but the “ng” is added after the word “lampa” to make it an active phrase (i.e. if passive, it would the “manunulat” is “lampa”).