Each Day

photo credit to www.123rf.com

photo credit to http://www.123rf.com

Author’s Note: This is how I feel about work in the past months or so… If only I could stop working and just retire. Oh well!

Each day I struggle
Lost my drive, don’t know why
I’m facing a hurdle
Don’t bother. Oh, I try!

Dragging myself each day
Keep counting all the hours
I wish I could just stay
Don’t want to go else where

Each day I am more bored
Errr… how do I get by?
‎Battling this to the core
I’m not winning this! Hai (sigh)…

– August 6, 2015

Boring Day

photo obtained from www.weirdnutdaily.com

photo obtained from http://www.weirdnutdaily.com

“What to do in a boring day with a boring teacher in a boring class teaching a boring subject in a boring classroom?” – My high school friends and I should have patented this statement! Here’s the back story: Our English teacher accidentally and unintentionally lost our informal theme writing and she asked us to do another one. Of course, being teenagers as we were, we complained A LOT! As a compromise she just told us to write whatever topic we want as long as we write and submit something to her by the end of the class. So, together with 3 others, we came up with the subject (and I’m pretty sure you guess this right) – “Boring Day”.

Almost two decades later and I can still vividly remember this first statement that we put in our informal theme. I can’t believe that I am actually asking the same question these days. Of course, I have to rephrase its parts since I am no longer a student but the main message is the same – What to do in a boring day?

Okay, hold on… I already wrote 5 poems in a span of 7 days last August about my boredom at work. The titles are actually funny so allow me to share: (1) Batugan (this is a Filipino term, which means slacker), (2) Boredom (so obvious!), (3) Struggling with Boredom, (4) And My Boredom Continues…, and (5) Psyching Myself From Boredom. Is it still not obvious enough that I was so bored? One might think that I was in the exact position as last year but it’s actually very different. Last year, I was employed by a different company and at that time the work progress was slower than a snail. I was stuck in a task that wasn’t even part of my job description and responsibilities. Also taking into account my frustrations, all of it became monotonous resulting to boredom. A negative boredom, if there is even such a thing.

Once again, I’m facing a battle against boredom – what should I do to win this? Write a poem? Nah! I feel like I already used most of my boredom-related vocabularies when I wrote those poems. So instead of a poem, here I am scrambling with my thoughts. Actually, I think this is a positive boredom (again, if there is even such a thing). The good thing about it is I don’t feel frustrated. I’m not upset too, I just don’t have anything to do! That’s the problem if one doesn’t have daily reports to produce, there’s so much down time. Of course I want to be productive so I try to figure out improvement on my processes but more often than not, I end up slacking and losing focus on not-really-urgent and not-really-required tasks.

But, I don’t know… I guess I just miss the adrenaline rush from my very stressful previous work. Oddly, I miss complaining about it. I miss the days when I have to catch up and respond to  tons of emails and attend meetings and conference calls in almost the entire day plus putting out fire here and there. So see? This is indeed a positive boredom. I’m not that stressed, I don’t spend too much time at work and I am now able to compartmentalize, i.e. not worry about work when I’m at home. I am also now sleeping soundly and without dreaming about (or staying awake all night thinking about) models and systems. So what really is my problem? Nothing really, I’m enjoying my new work-life but I’m just afraid that my brain will start to rust.

Anyway, time flies really fast and before I knew it, it’s the busy season again. And when it rains, it pours. Besides, be careful on what you wish for.

And… as long as I still have my creative juice to write then I will always be in a better place. All I have to do is just enjoy this positive boredom! Hoooray!!! 😀

– June 9, 2015

Trying to Write

photo obtained from www.seoclerk.com

photo obtained from http://www.seoclerk.com

Author’s Note: I wrote this sometime 2008 when I was sleepy and bored at work. Here goes… p.s. the last stanza isn’t the original, I find the original stanza too wordy so I edited it, but I posted the original version too just because.

I can’t think of anything that rhymes
But I still want to try to write
Let’s see if this is going to be fine
Even if I can’t seem to get it right

So what’s gonna be my topic this time?
Think! Think! To make this sublime!
Is it about love, friendship, happiness?
Or is it about nothing or just plain madness?

I’m still at a lost, where is this heading?
Been trying so hard to put some meaning
What to do to make this interesting?
Or should I just leave this and start working?

Original last stanza:

I’m still at a lost to where this is heading
But I’ve been trying too hard just to put some meaning
What should I do to make this still interesting?
Or should I just leave this as is and go do other things?

– written on October 8, 2008