Vague Questions

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

I’m tired from this endless search for passion
I’m running in loops without direction
I keep whining – I’m a broken record
How can my mind and heart reach an accord?

Insecurities are resurfacing
And all my doubts are no longer hiding
I’m crying for help, bursting into tears
Oh, why am I surrounded by my fears?

Can I stop counting the hours and days?
What should I do to figure out the ways?
My vision, my dream – they’re nowhere in sight
Oh please tell me! How do I see the light?

– September 1, 2017

Keep The Chase

Sometimes I am hitting a wall
I can’t pass through it, I am stuck
It would be the end, my downfall
And all I can hear is the clock
Counting ’til the death of my all

But I wish for time to stop ticking
It’s the sound I refuse to hear
Can the world stop from spinning
And shelter myself from my fear
To standstill ’til a new beginning

Sometimes I run but reach a cliff
There’s nowhere to go, should I leap
It’s suicide and it would be brief
Accept the end, just take a deep
Then wander in oblivion without grief

But I don’t want to be in that place
I need to get away from that cage
I am afraid to drift in space
So I’ll fight to not reach that stage
It’s my battle to keep the chase

– March 1, 2017

My Fear

Understandfasting - com

photo credit to understandfasting.com

Author’s Note: This is about being unsure and feeling that my creativity will soon reach its limits. It is also about falling off the wagon, about going back to the old ways, and about being confused again.

Are you afraid to wake up one morning when you could no longer draw any inspirations?
Wherever you look, wherever you search, everything is distraction
Then the words are gone, they could no longer be heard, written nor spoken
You don’t know what but something is obviously broken

You lie in bed, stare at the clock, watch the hours slowly pass by
A battle in your head, you can’t control it and all you could do is cry
You are back to square one where everything is confusion
You try to escape but your resistance pulls you more in that direction

Are you afraid to only see blur and your mind is blind folded?
It’s a chaos but it’s reality and sadly, this is where you are headed
You flip around, you try not to think but clearly, you are losing it
No matter how hard you try, it’s a vicious loop and there is no exit

You world is crumbling, it’s insanity, you asked, “Is it the end?”
There is no way out, it’s a free fall and all you could do is just to descend…
Are you afraid to wake up one morning realizing you no longer have inspirations?
And welcome you back to the world where everything is question and confusion?

Are you afraid?

I am.

– January 15, 2016