Madness

People think I maybe crazy
Crazy to seek for something
Something that will satisfy me
Me, myself and the life I’m living

Yes, you can call me insane
Insane for wanting to be free
Free from all the hurt and pain
Pain from loving you so deeply

Of course, I am eccentric
Eccentric to be alone
Alone so I would not get sick
Sick from pleasing the world I own

Madness – this was my story
Story of the life I once lived
Lived with regrets just to feel sorry
Sorry for me so I can again live

– February 24, 2020

Find Me, Save Me

I am hesitant to go beyond
To go far and see what is out there
I’m lost, waiting and wanting to be found
Look for me then take me to wherever

I am afraid to brave this world alone
To walk this life without you by my side
But I am currently in the unknown
Seek for me then let’s take my fears in stride

I’m scared to face any uncertainty
To take risks and overcome my madness
Maybe you can give me some clarity
Search for me then save me from my distress

– February 12, 2020

It

I felt it flowing through my blood
It was crawling under my skin
I was unable to shake it off
A leech sucking my very all

It is devouring me
Slowly, it is becoming me
There’s just no way to resist it
A vulture feasting on my soul

With time, I’m now enjoying it
Gradually, I’m embracing it
I always fail to defeat it
A demon now taking control

– February 4, 2020

Living In Shadow

lurk in shadows

photo credit to empowertexans.com

I have been living in the shadow of my pen
I want to be out but I just do not know when
I guess I am afraid, I don’t want to let go
I’m holding on to something I don’t even know

My fear is holding me back, I am insecure
I want to explore the what-ifs but I’m unsure
Maybe I will just live in the world of regret
Wait for the time that I’ll be able to forget

Maybe here, I’ll find freedom and serenity
Maybe this place has always been my destiny
Stop wondering what kind of life would be then
Just accept living in the shadow of my pen

– January 7, 2019

Crippled/Lame Writer (Lampang Manunulat)

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Author’s Note: My blog name/pseudonym – lampangmanunulat – is composed of 2 Filipino words: (1) “lampa”*** means crippled/lame, and (2) “manunulat” means writer.

Hiding behind the wires of the world wide web
Putting up a mask to disguise who I am
I am not Batman who could clean up Gotham
I am a crippled writer who is just lame

Struggling to stand up for what I have written
Anxious to take risks and to believe in myself
I am not a Super Saiyan who could save the Earth
I am a crippled writer resisting my world

Averse to get out from this anonymity
Hesitant to take steps to follow the dream
I am not Rick Grimes who has vision to fulfill
I am just a crippled writer hoping to break free

– January 4, 2017

*** The word “lampa” is an adjective but the “ng” is added after the word “lampa” to make it an active phrase (i.e. if passive, it would the “manunulat” is “lampa”).