My Subconscious Is Killing Me

photo credit to pmstudycircle.com

Writer’s Note: I haven’t written much lately so this was an old one, written in 2009 when I was waiting for the results of an exam.

I woke up at the wrong side of the bed
I just had a bad dream, I guess
Ignoring the moment that I have dreaded
Yet it came out naturally in my unconsciousness

Oblivion – that’s what I want
Preoccupied by lots of things except “that”
But when I shut my eyes and dreamed
My subconscious killed me while I was asleep

Feeling restless again
Stressed on what would “that” be
On “that” night what would I gain?
Please, I just want to be free!

– August 13, 2009

Advertisements

I Could Only

baby in arms

photo credit to christianwomenonline.net

I want to understand all your worries and cries
Then shelter you from harm, take away all your sighs
If only I could‎, I’d be the one who’d feel your pain
But I could only be there when you face the rain

I want to know why you are stressed or hurting
So I could give you the comfort you’ve been longing
If only I could, I’d forever hold you tight
But I could only touch you and tell you it’s all right

I want to understand all the things that you need
Then respond to all your cries and soothe all your plead
If only I could, I’d surely give you everything
But all I have is this love hoping it’s the only thing

– September 3, 2018

One Summer

Writer’s Note: This is the hospital where I gave birth one summer day/night.

The excitement is all around
I hear joyful music and sound
‎Somebody is arriving
In this fine summer morning

But seems we’re waiting in vain
Anticipation’s a pain
Is she really coming soon?
In this summer afternoon?

‎It gets harder by the second
It seems I’m dying, I reckon
No more strength but keep pushing
It’s been a long summer evening

Now exhaustion is all around
When will a miracle be found?
Then she finally shines her light
In this beautiful summer night

– August 28, 2018

Can I Hold You?

baby in arms

photo credit to christianwomenonline.net

If I can, I will protect you from all harm
I will keep you close and safe here in my arms
So each time you cry which I cannot dismiss
I look at you and I know I cannot resist
I cannot help but to hold you forever
Hoping to take away your fears or whatever
So sleep soundly in my chest, little one
Hear the music of my heart, little one
Let it be your warmth, your peace, your harmony
Let me enjoy this moment that you still need me

– August 10, 2018

You

You steal all my time
You conquer my mind
You seem like trouble
You are a hard job

You’re like my shadow
I can’t leave you behind
Now it’s hard to move
As you’re always around

You had me cornered
You changed me just like that
Now my hands are tied
There’s no going back

But it’s ironic
As you are my bliss
You remove my doubts
With you, there is peace

You shine a new light
You are inspiration
You are my heart and soul
You are my life

– August 10, 2018

37+ Weeks

Belly’s so heavy and it’s still growing
Joint pains in hands and feet; they’re swollen
And I’m itchy all over, can’t sleep
Tossing and turning is not helping
“Mind over matter” – also not working
Then I need to pee for the nth time
Now I am fully awake, annoyed

Then I think about you, our little one
I feel your kicks, your stretches inside
Your ways to tell me you’re safe and sound
All nuisances are suddenly gone
My annoyance turns into a smile
Now I have strength for pain and discomfort
As I dream about us three, I’ll be fine

– July 10, 2018

I Just

I just never want to keep my eyes off of you
So I could be the first and last thing you’ll see
Then feel the warmth emanating from you
Assuring me you are my reality

Now I vow to give my very best for you
An unconditional love I promise to show
I won’t let you go, I will be here for you
Then in this world together we will grow

I just want to touch you, kiss you tenderly
Then in my arms, forever I’ll hold you
For I want you to be always close to me
‎Then for the nth time I’ll whisper I love you

– August 10, 2018