Arts

arts

photos credit to tomorrowpoets.com, eventsdekalblibrary.org, stickpng.com and 123rf.com

Give me a line and I’ll start to write
I’ll combine the words and make it right
I’ll tell a story and give my whole
Igniting the readers’ mind and soul

Give me a brush and I’ll start to paint
The colours of my life without taint
I’ll show my other side, my passion
Depicting my world, my emotion

Give me a subject and I’ll capture
Notable moments in a picture
It could be a beauty or a mess
Reflecting existence, its realness

Give me a note and I’ll start to play
A music that is not a cliche
I’ll compose a tune that will remain
Soothing hearts, taking away the pain

– July 2019

Defeated

I fell and I stumbled
I was down, I was troubled
I can’t pick myself up
There was no way to get up
No strength to even try
And all I could do was cry
From despair, from anger
For not having the power
To control my dumb mind
Then command the brain to find
The love and the passion
To seek a motivation
But I only faltered
To defeat, I surrendered

– July 10, 2019

Writing Struggle

It’s not that I don’t have any inspiration
But I am always left with so much distraction
Left and right, up and down, all I see is confusion
Look around and I can’t find my concentration

Maybe I’m stuck with no more creativity
My mind wanders but it’s the same activity
I try to focus but I’m hit with anxiety
‎More of this and it will be my fallibility

And it’s becoming the epitome of puzzles
I try hard but I still don’t know how to tackle
I guess there are some things that I cannot handle
Just have to accept this is an endless struggle

– May 14, 2019

Innocence and Positivity

innocence and positivity

Writer’s Note: I associate positivity with rainbow, hence the picture. I wrote this more than 5 years ago. I just posted it here because I submitted it to Chicken Soup but it wasn’t selected.

Whenever I reach my boiling point, I unintentionally always end up going back to my true passion. For reasons unknown, it triggers my right brain to work. When that happens, I scramble about something or I reread my past writings. Luckily for me, tonight, I ended up doing both.

I don’t usually reread the writings I made earlier than 2005. Why? I don’t know, there was still no confusion prior to 2005 and my writings back then were about love and friendship. I feel that most of those were childish. But tonight was special. I went thru my writings from more than a decade ago. It amazes me. It seems that the writings I made more than a decade ago and the writings I made in the past 5 years were written by two different people! It was very noticeable that I took a break from writing during the years of 2004-2005. And after my short hiatus, things have changed. It gives me awe on how I evolve as a writer. My writing style has definitely changed, even the language I used and obviously, the topics I chose.

Rereading my old writings is like looking at old photo albums or better yet, it’s like reading my diary. What surprises me more is how my attitude has changed. Back in university, my literature professor who is, by the way, one of my influences in writing, told us to ponder on this topic: “What Makes Me Beautiful?”. Back then, I had so much positivity and innocence. Contented and satisfied! Blessings are outpouring! Life is beautiful! Death is beautiful! Everything is beautiful and these make me beautiful!

Somewhere between my confusion and frustrations, somewhere between facing death and failures, I lost my innocence and positivity. I forgot about them while I was growing up. I am too disappointed, too distracted, too focused on just finding answers. I attracted too much negativity and I took for granted the things that really matter.

I need to bring these back. May be I was living in Utopia back then. I know I wouldn’t be able to bring back my old idealistic self but somehow I need that little something from that youngster named (insert my full name here). That’s my take away from tonight. I know I’m not going to have enough sleep tomorrow to face my busy day, but hopefully what I have learned from my old self will keep me awake and will give me the power to survive positively. 🙂

– November 21, 2013

Living In Shadow

lurk in shadows

photo credit to empowertexans.com

I have been living in the shadow of my pen
I want to be out but I just do not know when
I guess I am afraid, I don’t want to let go
I’m holding on to something I don’t even know

My fear is holding me back, I am insecure
I want to explore the what-ifs but I’m unsure
Maybe I will just live in the world of regret
Wait for the time that I’ll be able to forget

Maybe here, I’ll find freedom and serenity
Maybe this place has always been my destiny
Stop wondering what kind of life would be then
Just accept living in the shadow of my pen

– January 7, 2019

The Story Of 2018

Writer’s Note: I’ve been writing about my year since 2013 but I’m not sure when I would be able to write a full narrative about my 2018. For now, here’s a short poem summarizing it.

Welcomed the birth of our baby
Looked forward to this journey
Felt a resurgence of passion
Found a new inspiration
This is my 2018 (twenty eighteen)
Bring it on, 2019 (twenty nineteen)

To explore the world with you
To write more about Him and you
To walk the path to destiny
To continue to be free
Here’s to more love, 2019
And thank you, 2018

– January 2, 2019

Is This? (Vague Questions II)

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

Writer’s Note: Vague Questions I is here.

Is this my destination that will end my searching?
Or another confusion that will keep me longing?

Is this the answer to the questions I’ve been asking?
Or just a new problem that will soon be emerging?

Is this the place to rediscover passion, my drive?
Or just something I will be forced to take to survive?

Oh when will I stop asking these silly, vague questions?
Am I overanalyzing to find solutions?

Why can’t I have faith to this path that I have chosen?
How do I let all doubts and worries be forgotten?

Will I ever reach my dream from all this complaining?
When will I get tired from all this venting and whining?

– February 1, 2018