Living In Shadow

lurk in shadows

photo credit to empowertexans.com

I have been living in the shadow of my pen
I want to be out but I just do not know when
I guess I am afraid, I don’t want to let go
I’m holding on to something I don’t even know

My fear is holding me back, I am insecure
I want to explore the what-ifs but I’m unsure
Maybe I will just live in the world of regret
Wait for the time that I’ll be able to forget

Maybe here, I’ll find freedom and serenity
Maybe this place has always been my destiny
Stop wondering what kind of life would be then
Just accept living in the shadow of my pen

– January 7, 2019

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The Story Of 2018

Writer’s Note: I’ve been writing about my year since 2013 but I’m not sure when I would be able to write a full narrative about my 2018. For now, here’s a short poem summarizing it.

Welcomed the birth of our baby
Looked forward to this journey
Felt a resurgence of passion
Found a new inspiration
This is my 2018 (twenty eighteen)
Bring it on, 2019 (twenty nineteen)

To explore the world with you
To write more about Him and you
To walk the path to destiny
To continue to be free
Here’s to more love, 2019
And thank you, 2018

– January 2, 2019

Is This? (Vague Questions II)

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

Writer’s Note: Vague Questions I is here.

Is this my destination that will end my searching?
Or another confusion that will keep me longing?

Is this the answer to the questions I’ve been asking?
Or just a new problem that will soon be emerging?

Is this the place to rediscover passion, my drive?
Or just something I will be forced to take to survive?

Oh when will I stop asking these silly, vague questions?
Am I overanalyzing to find solutions?

Why can’t I have faith to this path that I have chosen?
How do I let all doubts and worries be forgotten?

Will I ever reach my dream from all this complaining?
When will I get tired from all this venting and whining?

– February 1, 2018

Patiently Waiting

sunrise

photo credit to the1873fm.com

Patiently waiting for the sunrise
Without worries, without the heart’s cries
Let light shine, let it open the eyes
To believe in hope that never dies

Patiently waiting for the morning
With a smile for a new beginning
Let love be the only vital thing
To find happiness with no ending

Patiently waiting for tomorrow
With a bright future with no sorrow
Let all hate be gone, let passion grow
To live free and not go with the flow

– October 11, 2017

Vague Questions

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

I’m tired from this endless search for passion
I’m running in loops without direction
I keep whining – I’m a broken record
How can my mind and heart reach an accord?

Insecurities are resurfacing
And all my doubts are no longer hiding
I’m crying for help, bursting into tears
Oh, why am I surrounded by my fears?

Can I stop counting the hours and days?
What should I do to figure out the ways?
My vision, my dream – they’re nowhere in sight
Oh please tell me! How do I see the light?

– September 1, 2017

Answer The Call

photo credit to newatlas.com

phone

I can feel I. It’s calling my name
It’s whispering gently and softly
I can hear its voice, loud and clear –
“Come, take the plunge.
This is what you need.”

It’s tempting me but I am so lame
Its only desire is to see me free
But here I am, overwhelmed with fear –
So I won’t budge.
I won’t pursue the lead.

– April 10, 2017

Hey There

mirror

photo credit to md-arts.deviantart.com

Hey there,
Yeah you, I meant you,
The one behind the tree trunk
Shying yourself to the world
Why are you hiding?
To whom are you hiding?
Can you come around?
Can you talk to me, please?

Hey there,
Did you know
That I’ve been looking for you?
Been searching everywhere?
So imagine my surprise
When I found you there
Just within my territory
And not feeling your presence

Did you also know
You’re a key piece to my life
You give me direction
An inspiration to my bleak days
I know what happened
I understand why you turned away
I only want us to be whole again
Can you at least face me, please?

Hey there,
Still scared to show yourself?
You know, I will never get tired
Of telling you how much you mean
Of proving you my sincerity
I will just stay here, waiting
Until you’re ready, have courage
I’m only afraid time will soon run out…

Hey there,
Yeah you, the one in the mirror
I just hope you’re listening…

– May 10, 2017