Healing

I am back collecting all the pieces
Of shattered dreams and faded memories
I am trying not to mind the stitches
From the wound of my painful history

I am badly bruised but I’m not broken
I’m trying to pull through from my sorrow
My soul, my heart and my mind are hardened
Now I’m ready to face my tomorrow

And I am here to survive, I will thrive
Nothing can cage my spirit to be free
I’ll hang on as long as I am alive
Soon I’ll heal and I again will be me

– August 18, 2019

One With The Flowers

A smile with her dimple
Can wash away my trouble
Like poppies that are blooming
A hope that’s everlasting

Her contagious happiness
Reminds me that I am blessed
Like tulips in spring time
A beauty that is sublime

Her pure, genuine laughter
Soothes me, it makes me better
Like the scent of roses
A fragrance of calmness

Her ever glowing light
Changes all wrong to right
A source of life and power
She is one with the flowers

– May 17, 2019

Innocence and Positivity

innocence and positivity

Writer’s Note: I associate positivity with rainbow, hence the picture. I wrote this more than 5 years ago. I just posted it here because I submitted it to Chicken Soup but it wasn’t selected.

Whenever I reach my boiling point, I unintentionally always end up going back to my true passion. For reasons unknown, it triggers my right brain to work. When that happens, I scramble about something or I reread my past writings. Luckily for me, tonight, I ended up doing both.

I don’t usually reread the writings I made earlier than 2005. Why? I don’t know, there was still no confusion prior to 2005 and my writings back then were about love and friendship. I feel that most of those were childish. But tonight was special. I went thru my writings from more than a decade ago. It amazes me. It seems that the writings I made more than a decade ago and the writings I made in the past 5 years were written by two different people! It was very noticeable that I took a break from writing during the years of 2004-2005. And after my short hiatus, things have changed. It gives me awe on how I evolve as a writer. My writing style has definitely changed, even the language I used and obviously, the topics I chose.

Rereading my old writings is like looking at old photo albums or better yet, it’s like reading my diary. What surprises me more is how my attitude has changed. Back in university, my literature professor who is, by the way, one of my influences in writing, told us to ponder on this topic: “What Makes Me Beautiful?”. Back then, I had so much positivity and innocence. Contented and satisfied! Blessings are outpouring! Life is beautiful! Death is beautiful! Everything is beautiful and these make me beautiful!

Somewhere between my confusion and frustrations, somewhere between facing death and failures, I lost my innocence and positivity. I forgot about them while I was growing up. I am too disappointed, too distracted, too focused on just finding answers. I attracted too much negativity and I took for granted the things that really matter.

I need to bring these back. May be I was living in Utopia back then. I know I wouldn’t be able to bring back my old idealistic self but somehow I need that little something from that youngster named (insert my full name here). That’s my take away from tonight. I know I’m not going to have enough sleep tomorrow to face my busy day, but hopefully what I have learned from my old self will keep me awake and will give me the power to survive positively. 🙂

– November 21, 2013