My Subconscious Is Killing Me

photo credit to pmstudycircle.com

Writer’s Note: I haven’t written much lately so this was an old one, written in 2009 when I was waiting for the results of an exam.

I woke up at the wrong side of the bed
I just had a bad dream, I guess
Ignoring the moment that I have dreaded
Yet it came out naturally in my unconsciousness

Oblivion – that’s what I want
Preoccupied by lots of things except “that”
But when I shut my eyes and dreamed
My subconscious killed me while I was asleep

Feeling restless again
Stressed on what would “that” be
On “that” night what would I gain?
Please, I just want to be free!

– August 13, 2009

Insomnia

My legs hurt
My arms feel strange
My body seems twisted
I keep flipping on my bed
I close my eyes
Yet I find them open again
I am restless
Should I run?
Do some chores?
But I won’t, I can’t
It’s physically impossible
So I surf the net, read whatever
I try to write, write whatever
Then my stomach growls
But I don’t have the appetite
So I just check the clock
It’s been more than an hour
Soon I’ll have to work
So try to breathe… Relax!
Forget the pain
Don’t mind the discomfort
Leave any thoughts
Think of happy thoughts
Then count sheeps
But nothing’s working
And I’m running out of ideas
My head is not at its best
I have no more juice
I am so drained
I am exhausted
Yet I am wide awake
Somehow, I couldn’t manage
I just couldn’t fall asleep…

– May 30, 2018