Thunderstorm

composite-storm_jc-copy1

photo credit to assahifa.net

I woke up from the roar of a thunder
Then I listened to the pouring rain
I checked if you were awake
Then it hit me – you already left
You were no longer here
The tears just rolled
I wiped it off then I felt alone.
Soon, I decided to get up
Then I looked over the window
The street was wet and muddy
The garden was bleak
Petals were blown
It was a gloomy Saturday morn.
So I ate breakfast to cheer myself up
I tried to ignore the storm
Until I saw the empty chair
And I can’t help but be glum
As the rain fell,
And so were my tears
But I fought hard to be back at my feet
I tried to move on, to start anew
I acted as if all was all right
But I was helpless –
I was just feeling more low…

The thunderstorm outside was deafening
And all I heard were the roars of thunders
And the sounds of the pouring rain…

– May 24, 2016

I Still Cry (5-7-5 Collection)

Author’s Note: These aren’t haiku but these are using the usual number of syllables in a haiku, which is 5-7-5. Anyways, I wrote these a couple of months after my mom passed away.

I.
Thought that you’re not here
Life gets tougher and tougher
Missing you badly

II.
You’re happy out there
No more agony and pain
But here’s different

III.
Moments of sadness
Memories I cannot bear
Tears keep on rolling

IV.
My birthday is near
It’s the first that you’re not here
Missing you badly

V.
It has been four months
I cannot cope, can’t adjust
It still makes me cry

– October 4, 2012

Luha / Tears

Author’s Note: Yesterday was my mom’s third death anniversary and I want to pay tribute by posting this poem that I wrote in Filipino, 7 weeks after she passed away. I wrote the English version last week but I really had a hard time translating and still making it sound like a nice poem; may be because I don’t have the same emotion back then. Anyway, I’m still in the process of trying to write a better version and I’ll post in if I am able to sort it. Oh yeah, about the pic, this is her final resting place, it’s a columnbary.

Filipino and Original Version:

Patuloy ang pagpatak ng mga luha
Nangungulila sa iyong pagkawala
Alam kong masaya ka na sa piling Nya
Ngunit kay hirap pala ngayong wala ka na

Lumipas na ang pitong linggong parang panaginip
Hindi iniinda at pinipilit hindi isaisip
Ngunit heto ako ngayon, nagmumukmok sa isang tabi
Hindi na maiwasan pang magkubli

Sana’y nadarama ko ang iyong yakap na kay higpit
Sana’y naririnig ko ang iyong tinig na kay liit
Sana’y maaari kitang muling mahagkan
Ngunit lahat ng ito’y hindi na muling magagampanan

Ngayon ang buhay ko’y patuloy sa pagtakbo
Ang bawat araw ay ginugugol sa trabaho’t laro
Ngunit pakiramdam ko’y hindi na ako buo
Dahil nagkaroon ng malaking puwang ang aking puso

Dadaloy ang mga oras, buwan, at taon
Mga luha’y unti-unti ring maanod kasabay ng panahon
Ngunit aking pagmamahal ay nakaukit na sa bato
At habang buhay akong mangungulila sa paglisan mo

English Version:

Can’t keep my tears from flowing
Since that day, I’ve been longing
Up there, I know you’re smiling
But it’s hard to go on living

‎Seven weeks! Am I still dreaming?
Pain and aches, I’m not minding
Now here I am, grim and sulking
Can’t escape, no more hiding

‎Your tight embrace, I’m hoping
To hear your voice, I’m wishing
Your sweet kisses, I’m missing
But these are just wishful thinking

‎Now life must keep on going
Go back to working and playing
But I’m not whole, something’s lacking
My heart is wounded and bleeding

Hours will continue running
With time, my tears will be drifting
But my love will be staying
‘Till eternity, I’ll be longing

– the Filipino and original version was written on July 24, 2012 while the English version was written on May 29, 2015