37+ Weeks

Belly’s so heavy and it’s still growing
Joint pains in hands and feet; they’re swollen
And I’m itchy all over, can’t sleep
Tossing and turning is not helping
“Mind over matter” – also not working
Then I need to pee for the nth time
Now I am fully awake, annoyed

Then I think about you, our little one
I feel your kicks, your stretches inside
Your ways to tell me you’re safe and sound
All nuisances are suddenly gone
My annoyance turns into a smile
Now I have strength for pain and discomfort
As I dream about us three, I’ll be fine

– July 10, 2018

Insomnia

My legs hurt
My arms feel strange
My body seems twisted
I keep flipping on my bed
I close my eyes
Yet I find them open again
I am restless
Should I run?
Do some chores?
But I won’t, I can’t
It’s physically impossible
So I surf the net, read whatever
I try to write, write whatever
Then my stomach growls
But I don’t have the appetite
So I just check the clock
It’s been more than an hour
Soon I’ll have to work
So try to breathe… Relax!
Forget the pain
Don’t mind the discomfort
Leave any thoughts
Think of happy thoughts
Then count sheeps
But nothing’s working
And I’m running out of ideas
My head is not at its best
I have no more juice
I am so drained
I am exhausted
Yet I am wide awake
Somehow, I couldn’t manage
I just couldn’t fall asleep…

– May 30, 2018