Another Writing Struggle

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

I always end up staring blankly at the ceiling
Waiting and looking for a pinch of inspiration
But no matter how hard I try it’s always nothing
I should search deeper to find that certain emotion

Words, thoughts, and ideas – they are scrambling in my head
Flipping in my bed trying to find inner calmness
Yet I still can’t figure out the things I could have said
All I have is my rambling mind with clutter and mess

And so… I just stare again blankly at the ceiling
Now just allowing the words to take me to a trip
Emptying the mind, start from the very beginning
But oh my! This is only making me fall asleep

– March 15, 2018

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Writing Struggle

a combination of two photos obtained from: glogster.com and fountainpennetwork.com

I haven’t been writing lately
I can’t find the words, honestly
My mind is lost, seems uninspired
Creativity doesn’t transpire

So where do I start, be on track?
No, I cannot rely on luck
I tell myself words will soon come
But all I am is just a scum

I want to write again, seriously
I need my rhythm back, badly
Mind, please return from the abyss
Madness is here, help me end this

– December 4, 2017

Keep The Chase

Sometimes I am hitting a wall
I can’t pass through it, I am stuck
It would be the end, my downfall
And all I can hear is the clock
Counting ’til the death of my all

But I wish for time to stop ticking
It’s the sound I refuse to hear
Can the world stop from spinning
And shelter myself from my fear
To standstill ’til a new beginning

Sometimes I run but reach a cliff
There’s nowhere to go, should I leap
It’s suicide and it would be brief
Accept the end, just take a deep
Then wander in oblivion without grief

But I don’t want to be in that place
I need to get away from that cage
I am afraid to drift in space
So I’ll fight to not reach that stage
It’s my battle to keep the chase

– March 1, 2017

Have You Ever? (A Writing Struggle)

masonashley(com)

photo credit to masonashley.com

Have you ever felt the words were escaping from your head?
When they already ran before you can even begin to write
Blown by the wind and all that was left were some crumbs
Or worse, you were left with just empty thoughts floating in your head?

Have you ever approached the world from a different angle?
Something beyond your perspectives, something new and not necessarily you
Then you started rambling, hoping to create a masterpiece
But then you reached a dead end and all you can do was to throw it all away?

Have you ever listened carefully to your heart to know what to do?
So you can survive, live and evolve? Then to continue to explore and write
But you were losing inspirations, afraid to leap and take chances
But have you ever fully trusted your heart and believed the words will just flow?

Do you know?
They will eventually just flow…

– October 18, 2016

If I Were…

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

If I were to become a successful writer
Goodbye day job! I would no longer have to care
Then I would move on, become an explorer
I would find any inspiration everywhere

If I were to become a successful writer
Goodbye boredom! Here’s a new world to discover
Then I would be free, confusions would be conquered
No more hiding, my mask would also be uncovered

But I am not. I am only a lone dreamer
Stuck in my day job, I am an uninspired worker
Searching for passion, I am a hopeless believer
If only I were a successful writer…

– April 27, 2016

What Do I Do?

Good idea

photo credit to ajitnawalkha.com

What do I do with the idea in my head?
How do I focus? How can I comprehend?
Where do I start? Why procrastinate?
How do I get into a lucid and creative state?

What do I do with the idea in my head?
It’s all over the place, it does not blend.
I wish I know how to smoothly translate
But whatever I do, everything is a waste.

What do I do with THIS idea in my head?
I cannot express it, it does not transcend.
I tried to relax but all it did was to frustrate.
Perhaps it’s best to park this and just wait.

– February 3, 2016

My Fear

Understandfasting - com

photo credit to understandfasting.com

Author’s Note: This is about being unsure and feeling that my creativity will soon reach its limits. It is also about falling off the wagon, about going back to the old ways, and about being confused again.

Are you afraid to wake up one morning when you could no longer draw any inspirations?
Wherever you look, wherever you search, everything is distraction
Then the words are gone, they could no longer be heard, written nor spoken
You don’t know what but something is obviously broken

You lie in bed, stare at the clock, watch the hours slowly pass by
A battle in your head, you can’t control it and all you could do is cry
You are back to square one where everything is confusion
You try to escape but your resistance pulls you more in that direction

Are you afraid to only see blur and your mind is blind folded?
It’s a chaos but it’s reality and sadly, this is where you are headed
You flip around, you try not to think but clearly, you are losing it
No matter how hard you try, it’s a vicious loop and there is no exit

You world is crumbling, it’s insanity, you asked, “Is it the end?”
There is no way out, it’s a free fall and all you could do is just to descend…
Are you afraid to wake up one morning realizing you no longer have inspirations?
And welcome you back to the world where everything is question and confusion?

Are you afraid?

I am.

– January 15, 2016