Is It A Sin? / Kasalanan Ba?

Writer’s Note: This is originally written in my native tongue, Tagalog, but I also wrote the English version shortly right after.

I’m ready to offer my life for you, my dear
I will give you everything just to see your glee
Even if it means to let you go, set you free
For your happiness is the only thing I need

As long as he can love you the same way as I do
As long as he can bring back the shine in your eyes
I no longer care if I’m left alone, crying
If this is the only way to see you smiling

Yet I am still dreaming that we’ll be together
To be able to kiss your red lips for one more time
That in the end, it will still be just me and you
Please tell me, is it a sin to still dream about you?

– February 22, 2018

Ang buhay ko’y handang ialay para sa’yo, sinta
Ibbigay ko ang lahat upang mapasaya ka
Kahit pa ang kapalit nito ay palayain ka
Pagka’t ang kaligayahan mo lang ang mahalaga

Basta’t pagmamahal ko sayo’y kayang tapatan nya
At maibalik nya ang mga kislap ng iyong mga mata
Hindi na baleng ako’y mag-isa at lumuluha
Kung ito ang paraan nang iyong ngiti ay makita

Ngunit ako’y nangangarap pa rin na makapiling ka
Na muling mahagkan ang iyong mga labing kay pula
Na balang araw ay magiging tayo pa ring dalawa
Kasalanan bang umasa at pangarapin ka pa?

– February 13, 2018

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Is This? (Vague Questions II)

question marks

photo credit to clipart-library.com

Writer’s Note: Vague Questions I is here.

Is this my destination that will end my searching?
Or another confusion that will keep me longing?

Is this the answer to the questions I’ve been asking?
Or just a new problem that will soon be emerging?

Is this the place to rediscover passion, my drive?
Or just something I will be forced to take to survive?

Oh when will I stop asking these silly, vague questions?
Am I overanalyzing to find solutions?

Why can’t I have faith to this path that I have chosen?
How do I let all doubts and worries be forgotten?

Will I ever reach my dream from all this complaining?
When will I get tired from all this venting and whining?

– February 1, 2018

Will You Be Mine?

You always light up my dim world
You bring warmth in this freezing cold
You’re an angel sent from above
Is this what people call “true love”?

Now, everything I can conquer
With you, I will never falter
With you, I’m at my happiest
This feeling, isn’t it the best?

This love is perfect, it’ so right
You have felt it, too, am I right?
‘Cause that is you when you’re with him
And here I am, living in a dream

For to you I am just a friend
Someone who’ll be there ’til the end
But I still wish for you to be mine
So honey, will you please be mine?

– February 22, 2018

Melancholy

kathleenmoulton-com

photo credit to kathleenmoulton.com

It’s sucking every inch of my strength
It’s draining every bit of my soul
I am very weak, I am weakened
I’m about to surrender my control

It is slowly eating me alive
Burying me deeper to a hole
Where I can never ever emerge
Where I will never again be whole

And I don’t have a way to resist
Let it suck me, drain me, take my all
Let it bring me to where I belong…
This melancholy has become my all

– March 21, 2018

I Never Imagine

Capture

I never imagine
A bond could be so strong
A love happening in an instant
Just finding out about you
Not even seeing you in person
But just knowing you are here
Breathing, growing with me
You are a miracle, a blessing

I never imagine
That time can actually pause
That Earth can stop from spinning –
That was when we finally saw
A small glimpse of you
Your tiny heart beating fast
The focus was on you
Only you, our little one

I never imagine
I could be this person
A whole new different me –
I must confess, it feels odd
Yet it feels wonderful
Knowing there could be a future
With you, the three of us
Growing together, embracing this life

I never ever imagine
We could bring a new life to this world…

– January 30, 2018

Another Writing Struggle

barton_fink-typewriter1

photo credit to curnblog.com

I always end up staring blankly at the ceiling
Waiting and looking for a pinch of inspiration
But no matter how hard I try it’s always nothing
I should search deeper to find that certain emotion

Words, thoughts, and ideas – they are scrambling in my head
Flipping in my bed trying to find inner calmness
Yet I still can’t figure out the things I could have said
All I have is my rambling mind with clutter and mess

And so… I just stare again blankly at the ceiling
Now just allowing the words to take me to a trip
Emptying the mind, start from the very beginning
But oh my! This is only making me fall asleep

– March 15, 2018

I Love You, Goodbye

couple arguing

photo credit to moneycrashers.com

Writer’s Note: Of course, the title is the same as Celine Dion’s song so just want to give that song a credit.

How do I convey the things that I want to say?
What more should I do to convince you to please stay?
I wish I could wipe the tears rolling in your eyes
If only I could stop all your whimpers and cries

Is this the end of the seven years – the end of us?
Can’t we have another chance? Let’s talk, let’s discuss
Is it that easy to throw everything all away?
Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to go astray

“It was you who had thrown everything all away
You forgot about us and let lust lead your way
I can’t forget it no matter how much I try
I hate to say it – I love you but this is goodbye”

– March 28, 2018